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Review: The Talk

A review of “The Talk” by Luke Gilkerson found through a pin from the blog, Intoxicated on Life.

The first thing you discover about this lesson guide is that there are corresponding videos for each lesson. The first is a short two and half minute science film with a 3d walk through of the female internal organs to demonstrate ovulation. The remaining videos are more of the same. On this resource page you will also find a thorough list of reading material.

This lesson group is intended for elementary aged children, age 6-10. From the author’s viewpoint it is never too soon to discuss sex and that often “we speak too little too late.” He believes that children are sexual creatures and are not tainted by early talk of procreation. He furthers his argument by saying that if we don’t teach our children the world will. He encourages the correct names for body parts, biblical study and correct modeling of God’s will in our relationships. He ends his introduction with the warning, “When your child has grown up, his or her sexual relationships can bring a deep sense of brokenness and shame or incredible blessing.”

Lesson 1 is a introduction to the male and female anatomy. The pictures though scientific are graphic, clearly showing the look of the male body while being more general in the female cutaway. He uses the Genesis Creation story as his scripture for this lesson. Focusing on “male and female He made them.”

Lesson 2 focuses on God’s command to man to “go forth and multiply.” This lesson is the detailed explanation of sexual intercourse. There are no pictures of intercourse, just fertilization of the egg.

Lesson 3 this lesson describes pregnancy and development of the baby and vaginal birth. It uses Psalms 139:13-18 to describe God’s hand in the formation of the child.

Lesson 4 discusses the powerful bond created when two people have sex. This is where the author introduces sex should only be had in a marriage relationship.

Lesson 5 focuses on adultery. Listing Exodus 20 as the scripture reference he focuses on the ten commandments. Describing adultery as akin to stealing something.

Lesson 6 based on 2 Samuel 13:1-2, 6-14 discusses rape. This is where the author introduces abuse and what to do if the child find themselves in this position.

Lesson 7 based on 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 he ties in the idea that our bodies are a gift from God and that we should only use those bodies for His will.

Each lesson is written as a script or read-a-loud. They began with a review and each follows with talking points to aid discussion and a question and answer for the lesson.

In closing he gives ideas for keeping these lessons fresh in the mind of the child “For example, when Abraham and Hagar conceive Ishmael (Genesis 16), you can ask your child if they remember what sexual intercourse is and why adultery is wrong.” Also using tv shows and teachable moments as necessary. He gives apt warnings on internet filtering and educating a child to filter the world for themselves.

Perhaps I am old fashioned or I have studied modesty under Judaism for too long, but I was shocked by how blatant this study was. The author had a plan to teach sex-ed and merely used the Bible as a back drop for it. I didn’t see any biblical defense for this education, or for its necessity. Saying that we must give this education because there is no way to insulate our children from the filth of the world was unfounded.
His teachable moment of Hagar and Abraham described as adultery is at least an ignorance of the Semitic culture. The most pertinent scripture he quoted Proverbs 6:20-22 he gave only a passing glance.

This passage in Proverbs is in essence the V’ahavta, Deuteronomy 6:6 These words, which I am ordering you today, are to be on your heart; 7 and you are to teach them carefully to your children. You are to talk about them when you sit at home, when you are traveling on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them on your hand as a sign, put them at the front of a headband around your forehead.

The way to avoid the lure of lust is to study and keep Torah.

Not an Autism Blog, definitely an Autism Family

I was reading back through my own blog, weird right and I was realizing how much of this blog revolved around Autism for a time and how little I talk about it now. I’m not fighting for services, I’m not fighting behaviors, very often I can pretend we are normal while in public. I feel that while it is never gone, it is not at the forefront of our lives. Now I may be wrong and someone looking in at us would see different, but I feel that we are in a place, that does not demand a t-shirt or bumper sticker.

The kids have a great ABA company, with amazing tutors. No matter who they send here, we have great people in our house. We have graduated out of all other therapies which is such a blessing. For a time we would be gone Monday through Friday with speech, occupational therapy, play therapy and then 20 hours of ABA in the home.

When I recount how far I’ve come I’m hesitant to speak out our achievements. It is not so far from my mind those children who take smaller steps and those who may never take any. I keep in touch with the Autism community through blogs following high and low functioning children and adults, because I don’t want to lose site of the spectrum. On the other hand I wanna pretend to be normal, just like I enjoy pretending to be civilians occasionally. Nothing thrills me more than not having to say my daughter has Asperger’s she will need special treatment. I know that’s not wrong, and yet it feels a bit like survivor’s guilt.

I got out, my child learned to talk, my daughter learned to stop touching, my son learned to stop screaming, running, hitting (well almost). I knew children and families in the waiting rooms of all those clinics. I knew when I said this is our last appointment I was saying my child got better. I knew they would still be there week after week and part of me felt guilty. I think that is what has distanced me from my early activism, and also from the community. Nothing that was said to me, but this little bit of guilt I feel when I think…they have gotten so much better. What do you do with that?

We don’t do Valentine’s Day, but we still love you!

There are so many holidays that we don’t keep. You can add valentine’s day to the list if you are keeping track. It’s not that we don’t love you, we love you all year round, we even draw hearts, but we don’t do Valentine’s Day.

When Bobby and I were in the first few years of our realtionship, there was a time we weren’t “together”. We were broken up, but we saw each other ALL the time. God was working on us, I had a huge lesson to learn about forgiveness and he was learning that the I did not hang the sun and the moon. (A lesson I have been trying to reteach ever since ;) ) I woke up one morning and was praying about our relationship which I had been doing daily and heard in my spirit that it was time to get back together. I realized it was Valentine’s Day and laughed at the irony…we didn’t keep it back then either, but I went out bought a card and a gift and tracked him down at work. God is so amazing in His care for the minuscule details of our lives…Bobby had bought me something as well. We put our rocky breakup in our past and looked eagerly to the future, an engagement, marriage our life.

You would think that this would have become a day we honored…but we didn’t. We still count September 25, 1995 as our “Anniversary of Meeting”, we celebrate March 21, 1998 as our wedding day, even if the license says otherwise. As our children became aware of other holidays, the ones that shout from the checkout line buy all this candy, you know…Valentine’s, Easter, Halloween and Christmas. They asked about it and we told them it wasn’t the kind of love that God wants us to celebrate lightly.

The love on Valentine’s flirts with the erotic type love, the love that we are only to have for one person, for our spouse. We have been teaching our children to protect their hearts, to limit themselves, to not crush over every cute face, but to hold on to their love till the right time, the right person. We don’t want them to play around with love, no girlfriends in kindergarten, no crushes in jr high, no dating in high school. Since Valentine’s has no imo redeeming qualities, we ignore it. My husband doesn’t bring home flowers and chocolate…he brings me gifts throughout the year, because he wants to, not because he “has to.” We don’t hand out Valentine’s in church or attend Home School Parties with themed play dates.

But we still love you; Our kids have had good friends that they have loved. Loved so hard that even today years later they will be moved to tears over missing them. Our kids practice selfless love, giving of themselves when nothing will come back. But we don’t play with love, we don’t call it cute, we don’t court it when we aren’t ready for it.