We don’t do Valentine’s Day, but we still love you!


There are so many holidays that we don’t keep. You can add valentine’s day to the list if you are keeping track. It’s not that we don’t love you, we love you all year round, we even draw hearts, but we don’t do Valentine’s Day.

When Bobby and I were in the first few years of our realtionship, there was a time we weren’t “together”. We were broken up, but we saw each other ALL the time. God was working on us, I had a huge lesson to learn about forgiveness and he was learning that the I did not hang the sun and the moon. (A lesson I have been trying to reteach ever since ;) ) I woke up one morning and was praying about our relationship which I had been doing daily and heard in my spirit that it was time to get back together. I realized it was Valentine’s Day and laughed at the irony…we didn’t keep it back then either, but I went out bought a card and a gift and tracked him down at work. God is so amazing in His care for the minuscule details of our lives…Bobby had bought me something as well. We put our rocky breakup in our past and looked eagerly to the future, an engagement, marriage our life.

You would think that this would have become a day we honored…but we didn’t. We still count September 25, 1995 as our “Anniversary of Meeting”, we celebrate March 21, 1998 as our wedding day, even if the license says otherwise. As our children became aware of other holidays, the ones that shout from the checkout line buy all this candy, you know…Valentine’s, Easter, Halloween and Christmas. They asked about it and we told them it wasn’t the kind of love that God wants us to celebrate lightly.

The love on Valentine’s flirts with the erotic type love, the love that we are only to have for one person, for our spouse. We have been teaching our children to protect their hearts, to limit themselves, to not crush over every cute face, but to hold on to their love till the right time, the right person. We don’t want them to play around with love, no girlfriends in kindergarten, no crushes in jr high, no dating in high school. Since Valentine’s has no imo redeeming qualities, we ignore it. My husband doesn’t bring home flowers and chocolate…he brings me gifts throughout the year, because he wants to, not because he “has to.” We don’t hand out Valentine’s in church or attend Home School Parties with themed play dates.

But we still love you; Our kids have had good friends that they have loved. Loved so hard that even today years later they will be moved to tears over missing them. Our kids practice selfless love, giving of themselves when nothing will come back. But we don’t play with love, we don’t call it cute, we don’t court it when we aren’t ready for it.

One response to “We don’t do Valentine’s Day, but we still love you!

  1. Expressions of love are needed year round. I remember when Robert would have a dozen roses sent to my office on Valentine’s day. It touched my heart and made others envy me. When your husband isn’t good at expressing love regularly, a day to remember isn’t such a bad thing. I agree don’t play with it like its a game because this is important, after all it deals with the heart.

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