You know if I just put my kids in school…


I am going to focus here on something that has been on my heart for awhile. I feel guilty for feeling this way and yet I feel that it is part of the process. We don’t have any official diagnosis, but our gut feeling is that two possibly three of our children have Asperger’s. As I am sorting our what this means I can see that the affect of the syndrome is much more apparent as the children get older. I am more often embarrassed by their actions, I feel sadness and hurt when they are rejected on the play ground, or their “best friend” doesn’t return their feelings. 
Their behaviors before could be attributed to stages, the terrible two’s, oh he must be teething. Even the older one’s draw towards younger children can be positive until you see them in a group of children their own age and realize how immature they are and what a lack of age appropriate social skills they have.
I have been told by three different mental health professionals that if I just put them in school then it will all go away. If my husband wouldn’t deploy any more than the anxiety will pass. Tempted as I may have been in the beginning two years ago, I know now that the only thing school would be able to do for them is highlight their behavior, it would not help their behavior. I want the help, lol. I want to be able to help my children more, to figure out how to bring them to adulthood as strong men and women of G-d, who strive for Him, follow His commands and lead a good life. I want to help them communicate with those around them, to be able to filter everything this world throws at us, I want them to be able to have all the doors open to them when they choose to make their mark on the world.

Lord help me in this as I struggle through, illuminate my path and guide me towards the right resources for these children that you have given to me, give me patience with them as I address their idiosyncrasies and help us raise them up to be powerful in Your Name! In Yeshua’s Mighty Name

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One thought on “You know if I just put my kids in school…

  1. EngineersFalcon August 6, 2010 / 10:38 pm

    My name is Rebecca and I am in the Homeschool Aspie Yahoo group. This post really touched me. Our diagnosis process was such roller coaster of emotion. While I still struggle with much of what you are going through, know that as you grieve the loss of the life you thought you and your children have, that the Lord raises beauty from those ashes. Also – we loved Letter of the Week!

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