Sarah’s First Birthday

It’s 2130, there is a funfetti cake in the oven, the children are all asleep, its peacefully quiet. Tomorrow will be Sarah’s First Birthday, the kids made me go out and buy “stuff” for her big day. So now the dining room is decorated in Pink and Butterflies.

12 months ago I was probably kneeling on the floor trying to finish this horrible lion puzzle that I never did get around to finishing, praying that my awkward position would bring this now 10 day late baby into the world. My dh and I had discussed that she was wedged into my hip and that was keeping her from coming, chiropractics and spinning couldn’t get this little one to budge.
The day she was born was a Sunday. It was late in afternoon and I was tired. I went to lay down for a nap on the couch, knowing I would dread rolling off it when I awoke. An hour after I laid down to sleep I had a hard and long contraction. That was at 1500, almost 5 hours later she was here, well there really. We had decided to birth her in the hospital and we ended up with a c-section when her cord came down before she did. It was cause she was stuck on my hip, there was no way to budge her.
My husband missed the birth of his firstborn, emergency c-section, he was there for Talitha, he was there for Eprhaim, he missed Joshua’s cause he was in Iraq, he missed Sarah’s another emergency c-section, and now he’s missing her birthday.
I don’t hate the Army, I don’t hate the war, I just hate it when he misses stuff like this. It would tear me apart to be away from my family like he is, I couldn’t do it. I so respect the men and women who willingly, voluntarily get on those buses that take them to the planes, that they load up themselves, that take them all the way across the world to fight for someone else’s freedom from oppression and tyranny. One of those men, is my man, my husband, the father of my children, he is a son and a brother, he is an uncle and a nephew, he is a grandson.
He is the father of this little girl who says da-da so eagerly now, who gets excited at the screen of a television when we teleconference across the miles, who pulls herself up and smiles nervously, like “Is this okay?”
I have read and reread this post thinking should I make it a tribute to Sarah’s birthday or a rant about this deployment and I realized, its both. Being the family left at home is about both. It’s about celebrating with friends and family with joy and happiness and swallowing hard against the tears, hiding behind the camera to catch all the smiles, so he can’t see that moment of sadness cross your face. Being the family left behind when the soldier goes to war is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I would never ask for another life. I am proud of my man, my soldier and when my children look on with pride at the Flag, or a photo of their Dad in uniform I know, deep down its worth it, all of the pain and heartache is worth it.

Happy Birthday Sarah! 
You have the best Daddy in the whole world!! 
You lucky, lucky girl!

2 thoughts on “Sarah’s First Birthday

  1. Theresa Lindamood January 16, 2011 / 11:27 pm

    Your daughter is adorable! 🙂 Sorry you are apart for this milestone! Shalom.

  2. Anonymous January 17, 2011 / 11:57 am

    We honor you and your family on this day! All you all have given and endure so much! We are SO PROUD of you for each and everyday you have given of yourself and your family. We are also VERY proud of Bobby! You all mean the world to us and want you to know that we think YOU are a HERO today – you too fight a battle, it is a different kind, but at times just as hard as Bobby's. We love you! Marcy and the Bitting Bunch

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s