Sometimes I want to write, not because I have a bunch of earth shattering things to say, but because my heart is so full of emotion and my head is so full of thoughts.
Tonight is one of those nights, I know I should be hurrying about folding laundry, and prepping the house for the cleaning lady tomorrow, but I just don’t want to. I just texted her if she could come Wed, not that I will want to do all those things tomorrow night, but maybe I will? Anyways I am sitting here, at the kitchen table, listening to the sound of the fan, the one that has to run while I am cooking or the smoke detector goes off, listening to the click of the new keyboard on my laptop, the one that has a short that makes the Caps Lock light go on and off with each click, gratefully listening to the silence wafting ever so lightly down the stairs from three rooms of children who are, Baruch Hashem, nodding off to sleep and the kicker, the cleaning lady can come on Wed, Praise His Most Holy Name!!
I’m looking about the house, the floor needs mopped it is stained an orange-ish red from the KY dirt/mud, there are hotspots to put out all over the house, the laundry mountain has grown so large there was an avalanche this evening that nearly claimed the life of my new griddle. I need to throw out the flowers my dear sweet husband sent for our anniversary, but I can’t bring myself to do it, even though they were officially dead yesterday. I have a project on my sewing machine, that will Lord Willing, be a beautiful top for me to wear this summer that I bought, cut out and left there last summer, now don’t think I have sewn since then, I have. I mend clothes and I sew projects for my daughter and friends, but I can’t get myself to finish that top, and I think it would be so cute!
Am I complaining, no not really just taking an inventory, by listing the physical I am working through the emotional and spiritual causes and ramifications of my home being in this state.
My son 4yo and my daughter 6yo were just two weeks ago diagnosed with Asperger’s. It is on the Autism scale, you can look it up to read more about it. I have been trying but not succeeding in wrapping my brain around their differences, my other children are so close in age that they can’t grasp why discipline is different or why it appears they can throw a fit without consequences. My oldest is wearing down, but holding on to the promise of a two week all alone with his grandparents vacation…oooh what I wouldn’t give to be 8 and with my grandparents right now…you know what I wouldn’t give to be me right now and with my grandparents!!
I have good, no I have great friends! I have wonderful neighbors whom I count my friends, I have an amazing congregation, and the Pastor’s wife dropped everything to help out with what seemed like a tiny errand but meant the world to me. My husband loves me, he loves G-d, not in that order, B”H! He adores his family, he fights for his country. He is my earthly rock and anchor the one who will point me back to THE ROCK. He makes me laugh, and cry and usually at the right times, lol. My Mom, well I stole her, but I’m not giving her back and she likes me more anyways 😉 She is amazing! She takes my hour long phone calls, when she really needs peace and quiet, she takes my middle of the night calls with what sounds like a smile and hug, thanks Mom! I am so blessed.
Whew! I am so glad that I am writing tonight, I have formulated a plan, shh don’t tell the kids, I am going to pop some popcorn and you should be jealous it is such good popcorn. I’m going to curl up on my brand new couch watch something on Netflix, then I am going to fold the mountain and go to bed. Maybe if I am lucky my dear sweet husband will call and we will talk about nothing and everything and I will go to bed with a smile on my face, thinking how lucky I am, and in the AM I will be blessed by a brand new day.
Good night all!