Getting Out


There have been a few friends and acquaintances getting out the military,

“For the family.”

“I don’t like to be away from my family for so long.”

“I’m missing too many firsts.”

“We are only half a family with him gone.”

Let me just start with, you can’t argue with the reason that I got out for my family, but then that is what this post is all about. I’m gonna argue that you can be in the Military, deploy, have a family and it be just fine, not just surviving but thriving.

“I don’t like to be away from my family for so long.” Once when we were young and had no children my husband and I held jobs and went to school so that we saw each other for about 5 min each day when we exchanged car keys. I thought this was horrible, that was no way to be married, how could we keep on going without seeing each other day after day…lol, now I know. That was nothing! I haven’t seen Bobby since May and it will be almost November before I see him again. We have a strong marriage based on things that last, trust, good communication, love. My children miss their Daddy now all five of them. But they aren’t falling apart, they love him and his phone calls, they are excited to get dressed up for homecoming, they are PROUD of what their Daddy does and who he does it for.

“I’m missing too many firsts.” I missed a few firsts when I was working and had my first son. Before he enlisted my husband missed most of the firsts while he worked a min wage job to support his family coming home so tired he would fall asleep mid sentence in his chair. He still comes home and falls asleep mid sentence. He may miss the first word and step and the worst of all the first doughnut!! but he is there for the really big stuff, his children don’t have a weekend Dad, I am not a Baby-Mama, we don’t fight over custody. We spend 90% of our phone calls talking about our children, their growth, their next steps and what we can do to be better parents and raise better people. Being a good parent is binary, you are or you aren’t and it has nothing to do with the uniform you wear to work. Being focused on the first step or first word is like being focused on the wedding with no thought of the marriage.

“We are only half a family with him gone.”
We are a whole family. I am a completely married woman and mother whether my husband works across town or across the globe. My children have a father. He is a better father to them then most men are, when those men are coming home every night. I nor my family is whole or complete because of me or my husband or because of a new baby, we are whole and complete because of the Most High. It is Adonai who completes me and makes me whole, not a mere man, no matter how awesome and studly that man is 😉

In conclusion, lol, we may “get out” or we may go all the way and retire…but no matter what we are a family, with roles to fill that don’t change due to location.

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