Be Blessed

After Sabbath Musings – 6/2/2012

Numbers 6:24-26

Cohanim Hands - Priestly Blessing

Yivarechicha Adonai V’yishmirecha;
Ya-Ayr Adonai panav Aylecha v’yichunecha;
Yee-saw Adonai panav Aylecha v’ya-saym l’cha shalom.

24 The LORD bless you, and keep you; 25 The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; 26 The LORD lift up His countenance on you, And give you peace.’

Take the time to refuel…

And no I’m not talking about taking a spa day, or dropping the kids off with the sitter while you eat bon bons and watch soaps all day, I’m talking about the real deal the actual fuel that gets us all through the day, prayer and study.

Now, I’m the worst at this myself so I’m encouraging myself today too. As I’m about to get off my duff and turn of the computer and engage in an age old ritual of prepping for the Sabbath, I am reminded that I should start each of my days with the proper preparation of prayer and study.

As parents we can’t get so wrapped up in our children that we forget to take sustenance for ourselves.  We must eat, hydrate, exercise but we must tend to our spiritual needs foremost.

Proverbs 31:17 – She gathers her strength around her, and throws herself into her work.

How do we gather our strength, a good night’s sleep is beneficial but it will not outlast 3 major meltdowns and a scream-fest all before lunch. To draw on the strength that sustains we must turn to G-d of all creation, Exodus says that G-d is our strength and our salvation (15:2). Take a moment find a short devotional online and recharge.

I like:

www.Mymorningmeditations.com

www.chabad.org especially The Jewish Woman

My fav online Bible right now is www.biblestudytools.com They have the CJB and the NASV and you can read your choice of translation in parallel.

Shabbat Shalom!

Trying something new

So we went visiting to another congregation last night for praise and worship and oneg to follow.

Kids were all excited to go, they were excited to here the music and dance and sing. Until the bands started up, whether it was the acoustics or that we are just used to one guitar and two voices, it was loud. Ephraim imediately rolled up into a ball on the pew, Talitha bounced off to dance in the back, where it was quieter and she could watch herself in the reflection of a window. However when my NT son, turns to me and says this is a little overwhelming, I knew. I knew it was time to cut it short and head off for some chow.

Bobby and I are always down for something new, we both love to sing and a trip to Nashville filled with worship sounded awesome, in theory. Though I am not a proponent of rearranging heaven and earth so my two ASD kids don’t ever get uncomfortable, I don’t like to lead them into a meltdown scenario either. I felt bad they were so miserable and in turn didn’t get to enjoy myself either. Later my dh said he too was having a hard time enjoying it all for the same reasons.

I won’t give up trying new things, but I must say last night wasn’t high on the list of “lets do that again!”

Guacamole, a gift from G-d

(this was written in dec of 11)
This evening was a little off kilter.
I had planned on reading the portion to the kids and a few more chapters in Matthew. I got a call from a friend and so off we went to deliver some much needed medicine. While delivering the meds I was so upset by the treatment my friend was recieving at the hands of the medical staff at the hospital. I was in tears on the way home. Even after finding out someone was staying with her for most of the night I was still upset. I wanted to be able to do more, so I prayed.
Later after the kids had gone to bed I had this ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Every little noise, the dogs barking, house shifting made me jump. I was in the kitchen about to grab myself some comfort food and I saw some avocados in the basket. Its Friday evening, I still haven’t ironed out all the Sabbath halacha on food prep, and I wonder if it would be alright to make guacamole, my favorite comfort food. The Father’s instant comforting reply, was of course my daughter if it would make you feel better, I hate to see you suffer. I am in tears as I write this, that My G-d, My Father, the Most High, the King of the Universe, would suffer at my suffering.
I have had General Anxiety Disorder for almost five years. When it first hit me I was immobilized to be any kind of mother, housekeeper, educator, to be anything. Coupled with PPD (late onset due to weaning my son) I would sit on the couch and completely ignore my children, I was so disinterested with everything. When I did feel something it was a terrifying fear, of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It manifested with a fear of food, of eating in public, of large open places, large gatherings of people, fear of medicine, fear of being alone…so many things. Today I can say Baruch Hashem that there are days when I am not afraid of anything. But tonight, there was/is that tickling feeling in my stomach, that small reminder of what use to be and could be. And yet the blessing is that The Holy One blessed be He saw fit to show me today of all days that He suffers with me and for me. How comforting a thought.
I’m not sure what I feel now, but I know I am not alone in all this.
***I had not previously published this, I think to save my husband, who was deployed at the time, from worrying. I am glad I stumbled upon it tonight as I was looking over old drafts. It is a reminder to me that I don’t walk this path alone, that He walks with me.***