Happy Father’s Day!

When my Honey and I were dating, one of our favorite songs was Bryan Adams, “Have you ever loved a woman”. There’s a line that says, “when you can see your unborn children in her eyes…” I always thought this was so endearing, that you would be seeing your future, thinking about what kind of Daddy they might be, or what your kids will be like.

But for me with an absentee Dad, I was looking for a REAL Dad. I wanted someone who was going to be around, someone my kids weren’t going to have to worry will he call on my birthday? send a Christmas card? And so I wasn’t the girl writing my name over and over with his on my notebooks, I was the girl thinking way into the future ūüėČ

When I saw that he believed marriage was a covenant, a commitment, something that wasn’t a feel good mushy feeling, but a lifetime contract, when I saw him love fiercely and without concern for himself, when I saw the Man I knew he would become…there was no turning back, this was the man who would be the father to my children…and through all the socks on the floor, the countless hours of video games, through 2 deployments, and ten years of having five children, I KNOW I made the right choice and I am so glad that G-d put us together, He’s the best Daddy, and my kids are so lucky!

Be Blessed

After Sabbath Musings – 6/2/2012

Numbers 6:24-26

Cohanim Hands - Priestly Blessing

Yivarechicha Adonai V’yishmirecha;
Ya-Ayr Adonai panav Aylecha v’yichunecha;
Yee-saw Adonai panav Aylecha v’ya-saym l’cha shalom.

24¬†The¬†LORD¬†bless¬†you, and¬†keep¬†you;¬†25¬†The¬†LORD¬†make¬†His¬†face¬†shine¬†on you, And¬†be gracious¬†to you;¬†26¬†The¬†LORD¬†lift¬†up His¬†countenance¬†on you, And¬†give¬†you¬†peace.’

Trying something new

So we went visiting to another congregation last night for praise and worship and oneg to follow.

Kids were all excited to go, they were excited to here the music and dance and sing. Until the bands started up, whether it was the acoustics or that we are just used to one guitar and two voices, it was loud. Ephraim imediately rolled up into a ball on the pew, Talitha bounced off to dance in the back, where it was quieter and she could watch herself in the reflection of a window. However when my NT son, turns to me and says this is a little overwhelming, I knew. I knew it was time to cut it short and head off for some chow.

Bobby and I are always down for something new, we both love to sing and a trip to Nashville filled with worship sounded awesome, in theory. Though I am not a proponent of¬†rearranging¬†heaven and earth so my two ASD kids don’t ever get uncomfortable, I don’t like to lead them into a meltdown scenario either. I felt bad they were so¬†miserable¬†and in turn didn’t get to enjoy myself either. Later my dh said he too was having a hard time enjoying it all for the same reasons.

I won’t give up trying new things, but I must say last night wasn’t high on the list of “lets do that again!”

Are you always right?

After Sabbath Musings 1/29/12

Why can’t we leave each other alone?

Why do we insist on requiring others to be held to these impossible standards.

I came across this great review on an article from Messiah Journal a FFOZ publication. ¬†I read it, all of it, and I read most of the comments. I loved the idea that the author’s at FFOZ are not stagnant, that they aren’t reigned in by some church bylaws or dogma, but can study the word and supporting materials and follow where they are led.

I was on this high sort to speak when I came across another posting about FFOZ calling them out for yet again changing there stance on Torah’s obligations. Though I don’t begin to pretend to understand all the nuances of this, lemme tell you I am glad I don’t have someone watching me with a microscope,¬†dissecting¬†my every move and determining my motivation for change.

When I was young I attended a Baptist Church, I thought it was all about salvation through fear and baptism. In jr and sr high I attended a number of churches most of them charismatic or pentacostal in nature. ¬†I struggle with a number of their teachings mainly because I was raised Baptist. As a young adult I completely left the church not attending again till I was 23, that’s six years of checking out what the world had to offer. Then I was in a non-denominational church for the next six years, which was integral in my family rediscovering Torah. In all that time, I taught children and peers, what I understood of the Bible and God. Today looking back, I was wrong a lot of the time, even today I find myself reteaching my children, because I have learned something new.

Should I be shamed into remaining stagnant? Should I not be allowed to teach my children the new understandings I have found? Who would tell me to stop growing? People have a right to call me out in my ways, they have a right to say, “I disagree with you.” We can discuss that, but you don’t have a right to second guess my motivations. In all that I have ever done it was to better understand God, His creation and my place in it.

Why would any of the followers of Yeshua deny a person the right to change, grow, strengthen themselves through the Word, because that person is an author or pastor or musical artist? Why would we tell them they must be 100% right or they must remain silent? Do we honestly think that any man on this planet has it all right? Do we ourselves feel that we are above reproach? That no fault can be found in our personal halacha? This is ridiculous.

We need to stop building walls, creating division within the body. How are we to look to the Messiah, the spotless bride when we have drawn great big black lines all over our wedding dress?